Go get mommy a cocktail.
I don't like candy. It dulls my anger.
Your screaming child makes me happy I'm on the pill.
Not tonight, Cupid. I have a headache.
"How are you still single?" is not a compliment.
You put the 'man' in manicure.
You're the only man whose balls I don't want to clamp in a vice.
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
I can't live each day as if it were my last.
I never understood the phrase, "Make an honest woman out of me."