Jane folded the laundry and then completed a successful perimeter check.

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"...And then I shot him and put him in my trunk."

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I hate everybody

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Safety concerns aside, having a stalker is really quite flattering.

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Crap, this crystal ball is just a paperweight.

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Some day, you'll put the 'fun' in funeral...

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I love you so much that it hurts when I pee.

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I’m so tired of working with assholes.

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You've always been like a sister to me..

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